Confessions of a Nation: Prussia
by raecat
Summary: Gilbert shares 50 secrets that define him historically and personally, showing us the personality under the awesomeness. Mix of head-canon explanations and historical facts. Warning: bit depressive. Updated 8-15 with new secrets, please re-read!


Updated 08-15-2010 with some editing and a few new secrets. Please re-read!

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Summary:Gilbert shares 50 secrets that define him historically and personally, showing us the personality under the awesomeness. Mix of head-canon explanations and historical facts. Notations at the end.

Warning: Bit depressive. Mentions of abuse/horrific things. Mentions of onesided?Prussia/Austria, possible Prussia/Lithuania and possible Germancest, should you choose to interpret that way.

Disclaimer: I own no countries, nor their personifications, except for Brandenburg. All people listed are real people, except for the nations.

**Confessions of a Nation****  
Kingdom of Prussia**

1 - I am not an albino, technically. Although my eyes are red, my hair is white blond and I have normal skin pigmentation.

2 - My red eyes represent the blood I have shed. Ivan once asked if I would cry blood.

3 - I have been abused, both mentally and physically, my entire life. My brother never liked me from the moment I was born.

4 - My Knights and others thought I was either an angel sent from God or a demon sent from Hell. Opposing forces tortured me if I was captured.

5 - One of my Kings used to beat me. I took the beatings meant for his son as well.

6 - I fell in love with one of my Kings. I actually think it is my fault he divorced his wife when he took the throne and had no heirs.

7 - Until I conquered Old Prussia, I never had land, just people. I don't know if any other nations know what it feels like to not have a heart.

8 - I know that nations can die. I killed Old Prussia in battle. Although I know he let me, I still cried about it for weeks. It still haunts me.

9 - I briefly met Germania only once. I did dream of him for many years, which led me to find Ludwig and raise him.

10 - I really am a war-monger. All I have done my entire existence is fight. Like they say, it's probably my fault Germany turned out the way it has.

11 - I have never hated another being more than I hate Hitler. He dissolved my country and tortured my brother. He enslaved half of Europe and killed its people. I've never been prouder than when I found out West killed him.

12 - I spent over 2 years in Auschwitz. I was there because I was no use to Hitler; I was no longer a nation, I surrendered in Moscow, I passed information about the Jews and helped them escape.

13 - I don't know who knows I was there, or if they know why. I know that some thought I was hiding. I punched Feliks when he said it.

14 - As with the Teutonic Order, I am the embodiment of the Holocaust. When I was in Auschwitz, I took all the people as my own. I took their pain and suffering, and spared their nations most of it.

15 - Turns out I also took the land the camps were on. So I still have land, and the others have holes. I'm actually not sure if they notice or not.

16 - I never let anyone see my skin if I can help it now. The number is still tattooed on my arm, and my back is covered in gruesome burns, mapping out the camps.

17 - Ivan knows, he saw me naked enough.

18 - It took a while for West to look without flinching. I know he blames himself.

19 - Becoming East Germany was a cover. I offered to take 'possession' of my 'half' of the land, and go with Russia. I did it for West. He was already drowning in guilt and I did not want to take the chance of him splitting in half. I could bear Ivan and his torture.

20 - Reuniting with West after 40 years was the happiest moment in my life. I hope it means as much to him.

21 - I have nightmares that West is better off without me.

22 - With the reunification of Germany, I have no purpose with West anymore. He lets me stay with him, under the guise that we share Germany same as the Italy brothers.

23 - I actually should still be with Ivan, in my new role as Kaliningrad Oblast. But I refuse, and Ivan holds that part of my heart.

24 - I know that West knows the truth. I'm not sure who knows, but I'm sure many have thought about it.

25 - I love that he lets me pretend. He even gave me half of his heart, and now our hearts beat in time.

26 - When America came and asked to create the Holocaust Museum in his capital, I agreed. When he left, I threw up for 3 hours. I didn't sleep for a week after. West stayed with me the entire time.

27 - West and I are not brothers. Holy Roman Empire was my older brother. When he sided with Poland-Lithuania against me, I left him and became Prussia. When he finally died, Ludwig and all the other kingdoms were freed. I found Ludwig and raised him as my own.

28 - I don't know if West knows. Pretty much the rest of Europe does. I wonder if I should tell him.

29 - I am probably closer related to the Baltic Trio than to West. Old Prussia was a Baltic State, and their 'brother.'

30 - I have always known that Toris could do better than Feliks. But I still feel guilty about helping to break up their union and sending Toris to Ivan. I was supposed to take care of him.

31 - I don't know if he knows it still bothers me. Or if he ever forgave me for my part in it all.

32 - Everyone knows my prize possession is my Iron Cross and that I gave one to West as well. What no one knows is that I gave West my own, and wear the newer one myself.

33 - I have loved Roderich ever since I met him. I tease him because I don't know how else to get his attention. I teased Elizaveta because I didn't want them together.

34 - I was the first to figure out Elizaveta was a girl. She made a few comments when we were younger, and I knew from that. I tried to tell her, but she wouldn't listen. Years later, I was the only one not surprised.

35 - I was taught to play the flute by Old Fritz. It made him happy, which made me happy. But I also hoped that Roderich would be impressed. I never found the courage to tell him.

36 - I think Brandt is the only one who knows.

37 - I love listening to Roderich play music. I've never told him, but I think he knows.

38 - I am terrified of Ivan. Somewhat because of the torture I suffered for 40 years at his hands, but mostly because of his insanity. I feel like it won't take much more to push me over the edge.

39 - West seems to get it. He helps keep me grounded.

40 - I often wonder if he thinks of me as a burden.

41 - I use my claims of awesomeness to hide my insecurity and loneliness.

42 - I think everyone knows, but they all let me pretend.

43 - I have been married only once, but it was worth it. I am still glad to have Brandt by my side.

44 - The fact that my Order still survives, even somewhat, makes me proud.

45 - When I found out that both America and Canada have cities named in my honor, I almost cried.

46 - I did so later, in private.

47 - Gilbird is a Prussian eagle chick and was a gift from Old Fritz. He has never aged, and always been by my side.

48 - I have been afraid he would die twice – when Old Fritz died and when Prussia was dissolved. I hope that, if I become a great nation again, he will become an adult.

49 - As much fun as Francis and Antonio are, Arthur and Søren are better drinking buddies. We reminisce about the old days and everything we've lost.

50 - I don't understand the point of us nations. All we do is suffer.

**Notations & Explanations**

Most of these are from my head-canon on Gilbert. I will point out the ones that are historical fact. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask/comment in a review or PM. Unless you do so anonymously, I will get back to you quickly.

Knights or Order refer to the Order of the Teutonic Knights of St. Mary's Hospital in Jerusalem aka Teutonic Order

5 – Friedrich Wilhelm I of Prussia was said to have a heavy hand and short temper, and would smack his subjects and son around. I don't think Gilbert could stand for child abuse.

6 – Friedrich II aka Old Fritz (son of Friedrich Wilhelm I) was rumored to be homosexual. He divorced his wife after the death of his father and had no heirs. He was also quite in love with his country, and is quoted as saying "I am the First Servant of my Country"

7 – My explanation on how Gilbert could be both Prussia and the Teutonic Order. The Order did conquer Prussia, turning it into a Masonic State.

9 - My head-canon has Germania hanging around until the German tribes are incorporated into the HRE. Until then, he was caring for little Ludwig. Following his death, he asked Gilbert to help Ludwig unite the German tribes and raise them to greatness.

10 – This is true – Prussia's history is all battles and wars. After WWII, Winston Churchill is quoted as saying that "The core of Germany is Prussia. There is the source of the recurring pestilence."

11 – West killing Hitler – read my fic _These Walls as my Witness _for more

23 - Kaliningrad Oblast is a territory belonging to Russia that used to belong to Prussia. The area included Koenigsburg, which was the capital of Prussia, and is separated from Russia by Poland and Lithuania. Following WW2, Russia took over and renamed the area. Following the reunification of Germany, the government and various groups have been attempting to get the land back from Russia. So far, Russia isn't interested.

27 – Historically, the Germanic tribes were part of the HRE. The Teutonic Knights were an offshoot. Technically, HRE and Germany existed at the same time. I do not believe that HRE = Germany. Historically, HRE sided with Poland-Lithuania, causing the Teutonic Order to break away and rename their claimed land as Prussia.

29 – This is historically and geographically true.

30 - Refers to the annexations of Poland and the dissolution of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth by Prussia, Austria and Russia.

34 - Gilbert's knowledge seems to be canon. It is shown in the comics that he seems to catch on that something isn't right when Hungary mentions growing a penis and that 'his' chest hurts.

35 – This seems to be accepted as fanon, if not actually canon info. And I like it.

36 & 43 - Brandt is my OC Brandenburg. Historically, Brandenburg also left the HRE and joined with Prussia to form Brandenburg-Prussia from 1618-1701. In 1701, Prussia became Kingdom of Prussia and Brandenburg a state within. Following WW1, both Prussia and Brandenburg were states in Germany. Today, Brandenburg is still a part of Germany and is the state surrounding Berlin. My head-canon has Brandt still living in the area and being close with Gilbert and Ludwig.

44 – This is true. Although temporarily banned by Hitler, the Teutonic Order still exists in Central Europe today.

45 – Also true. They are King of Prussia, Pennsylvania, USA and New Prussia, Ontario, Canada.

47 – My head-canon likes the idea that Gilbird was a gift from Old Fritz. I think it's sweet. There is no such thing as a Prussian eagle, but the symbol of Prussia is a black eagle. My head-canon has Arthur using magic to bring the eagle on the flag to life for Fritz to give to Gilbert.

49 – Following 41, I think that Gilbert's raucous drunk self is, in part, an act. I feel that he has had a hard life and all 3, with enough drinks, would be very sad reminiscing drunks. Søren is Denmark.


End file.
